Some truths are difficult to face, especially when the answers we spend so much time searching for force us to confront parts of ourselves we would rather leave untouched. For Secrets, that uncomfortable space between wanting answers and fearing what they might reveal becomes the foundation of Searching For The Things We Don’t Wish To Find, an album that explores personal struggles, broken relationships, manipulation, emotional distance, and the difficult process of learning when to let go.
In a conversation with Wade Walters, vocalist of Secrets, we explored the deeper meaning behind the album’s title, the relationship between darkness and healing, and the patterns people repeatedly find themselves trapped in. Through songs like “Split Tongue,” “Where The Light Doesn’t Reach,” “A Pattern of Return,” and “Signal Decay,” Walters opens up about the emotional experiences that inspire the band’s music and the lessons that can emerge from confronting uncomfortable truths.
Rather than presenting pain as something to romanticize, Secrets approaches it as something to acknowledge, understand, and eventually move beyond. The result is a conversation about recognizing what hurts us, accepting what we cannot change, and finding the courage to stop returning to the things that keep us from moving forward.
Searching for Answers We May Not Want to Find
The title Searching For The Things We Don’t Wish To Find immediately suggests a contradiction at the heart of human nature. We want answers, explanations, and closure, yet sometimes the truth is the very thing we fear most. Whether it involves relationships, personal shortcomings, or experiences that have permanently changed us, the search for understanding can become its own emotional battle.
For Walters, however, the album title came from an unexpected place. “The album title actually came from a quote from the Batman spin-off TV show called Gotham,” he explains. “When I heard it, I thought that had to be the name of our record, and it applied a lot to some of our lives at the time.“
What began as a line from a television show became something much more personal, capturing a period in which the band members were navigating experiences that required a closer look at themselves and their circumstances. hen asked whether the album was ultimately about healing or learning to live with things that may never completely heal, Walters makes the record’s intentions clear.
“The album is absolutely geared in the direction of healing. The title itself is about finding or discovering things about yourself that you don’t necessarily love and finding a way to delete those things from your life.“
That distinction is important. Healing does not always begin with an inspiring realization or a sudden sense of peace. Sometimes, it begins with acknowledging the habits, relationships, and internal struggles that have quietly become part of our everyday lives. Recognizing those things can be uncomfortable, particularly when we realize that moving forward requires us to change something about ourselves. Yet that discomfort can also become the starting point for something better. The process is not necessarily about erasing the past, but about refusing to let it dictate every decision that follows.
Finding the Line Between Darkness and Healing
Music has long provided an outlet for emotions that can be difficult to articulate in ordinary conversation. For artists working within heavy music, that outlet can become especially powerful, transforming anger, frustration, grief, and vulnerability into something that others can recognize within themselves. But there is a difference between confronting difficult emotions and allowing them to become a permanent home. When discussing where Secrets draws that line, Walters explains that acknowledging pain is necessary, but remaining trapped within it is another matter entirely.
“I think there’s a pretty big difference between accepting that you’re going through something and just allowing yourself to live in it forever,” he says. “We’ve always used music as a way to get those feelings out rather than let them completely consume us.”
For the band, creating music is not about glorifying suffering or suggesting that someone must be broken to make something meaningful. Instead, it provides a space to be honest about what hurts without surrendering an entire identity to that pain.
“It’s more about being honest with yourself, even when it’s uncomfortable, and hopefully finding a way forward through all of it,” Walters continues. “Sometimes you have to sit with those feelings for a while, but you can’t let them become who you are.”
That perspective gives the album’s darker themes a greater sense of purpose. The heaviness is not simply an aesthetic choice; it becomes a way of processing emotions that might otherwise remain buried. There is value in allowing yourself to feel angry, lost, or hurt, but there is also value in recognizing when those feelings are beginning to control your life. For listeners who have struggled to distinguish between processing their experiences and becoming consumed by them, that message offers an important reminder: acknowledging your darkness does not mean you have to live there forever.
The Need for Closure, Even When the Truth Hurts
Why do we continue searching for answers when we already suspect they might hurt us? Why can uncertainty feel more unbearable than a truth we know will leave us devastated?
For Walters, much of it comes down to the human desire for closure. When something changes our lives, particularly a relationship or an experience involving loss, unanswered questions can keep us emotionally tied to the past.
“I think a lot of it comes down to wanting closure. As humans, we hate not knowing things, especially when it comes to relationships, loss, or situations that have completely changed our lives,” he explains.
Sometimes, the absence of an explanation becomes its own form of suffering. We replay conversations, reconsider our decisions, and imagine alternative outcomes, wondering whether something could have been done differently. Even when a situation is over, the mind continues searching for a version of events that finally makes sense.
“Sometimes I think we’d rather hear something that absolutely destroys us than spend the rest of our lives wondering what actually happened or what we could’ve done differently,” Walters says.
Yet closure is not always the resolution we imagine it will be. Finding an answer can explain what happened without making the consequences any easier to accept. It can replace uncertainty with disappointment, anger, or an entirely new set of questions.
“Sometimes getting those answers doesn’t always make anything better. Sometimes it just creates more questions,” he adds.
That contradiction sits at the center of the album’s title. The search itself can become consuming, leaving us chasing explanations long after they have stopped helping us heal. Sometimes we need answers to move forward, while other times we must accept that understanding every detail will not change what happened. Perhaps part of healing is learning to recognize the difference.
“Split Tongue”: When Frustration Finally Boils Over
“Split Tongue” captures the moment when keeping quiet no longer feels worth it. After dealing with dishonesty and people who twist situations to their advantage, frustration can build until there’s simply no desire left to hold back. For Wade Walters, the song draws from the experience of encountering people who have plenty to say in someone’s absence but suddenly change their tune when asked to answer for their actions. It’s an expression of reaching your limit with the games, excuses, and contradictions that make it difficult to know who you can genuinely trust.
“To me, ‘Split Tongue’ is really about reaching your breaking point with people who constantly run their mouths behind your back but never have that same energy when you’re standing right in front of them,” he explains.
He describes a cycle of gaslighting, manipulation, and people who stir up conflict before positioning themselves as the victim when someone finally challenges their behavior. It is the kind of situation that can leave a person questioning their own reactions, especially when they have repeatedly tried to take the high road. Eventually, however, the desire to keep the peace can become exhausting. There comes a point when letting things slide no longer feels like maturity; it feels like allowing the same behavior to continue.
“This song is basically that frustration finally boiling over,” Walters says.
That emotional intensity makes “Split Tongue” an important part of the album’s broader exploration of personal boundaries. While some of the record’s themes involve reflection and learning to understand painful experiences, this song occupies a more confrontational space.
“Sometimes you don’t want to sit around and process your feelings or try to understand why someone is the way they are,” Walters adds. “Sometimes you’re just fucking fed up, and that’s exactly where this song comes from.”
There is something deeply human about that admission. We are often encouraged to respond to conflict with patience and understanding, but that does not mean we must endlessly tolerate dishonesty. Recognizing when enough is enough can be its own form of growth, particularly for those who have spent too long prioritizing someone else’s comfort over their own.
“Where The Light Doesn’t Reach”: Learning to Carry What Changed You
Some experiences eventually lose their immediate power over us. Others leave marks that remain long after the circumstances themselves have passed. The challenge is learning how to distinguish between the pain we can overcome and the experiences that permanently reshape our understanding of ourselves and the world. “Where The Light Doesn’t Reach” explores that complicated relationship with darkness. Rather than treating healing as a simple process of leaving every painful experience behind, Walters recognizes that overcoming something and learning to live with it can happen simultaneously.
“I think it’s a little bit of both,” he says. “There are definitely things in life that you can overcome and eventually look back on without feeling the same pain. But I also think certain experiences change you permanently, whether you want them to or not.”
There is no promise that time will erase every memory or restore us to the people we were before something happened. Sometimes, the most meaningful progress is quieter. A memory that once controlled our decisions may gradually lose its influence. An experience that once felt impossible to discuss may become something we can acknowledge without being overwhelmed by it.
“You don’t necessarily forget what happened or completely get rid of those feelings,” Walters explains. “You just learn how to live with them without letting them control everything you do.”
That understanding challenges the idea that healing requires us to become untouched by our past. We can carry difficult experiences without allowing them to determine our future, and we can recognize how those experiences shaped us without pretending that the pain was necessary or deserved.
“I’ve always believed that some of the hardest things we go through end up teaching us the most about ourselves,” he continues. “That doesn’t mean I’m thankful for every bad thing that’s happened, but I can at least recognize how those experiences have shaped the person I am today.”
It is a thoughtful distinction: finding meaning in an experience does not require gratitude for what caused the suffering. Sometimes, growth is simply the ability to look back and recognize that the person you became is no longer defined by the worst thing you endured.
“A Pattern of Return”: Knowing When to Walk Away
One of the most difficult patterns to break is returning to something simply because we remember what it once meant to us. Whether it is a relationship, a friendship, or a situation we desperately want to repair, familiarity can make it difficult to accept when something is no longer healthy. “A Pattern of Return” reflects that cycle of revisiting familiar wounds, hoping the next attempt will somehow produce a different outcome. For Walters, the personal lesson behind that idea has been learning when to walk away.
“For me personally, I think it’s been learning when to walk away from things that aren’t good for me anymore,” he shares. “I’ve definitely been guilty of giving people or situations way too many chances because I wanted so badly for things to work out.”
It is a familiar struggle for anyone who has invested time, emotion, and hope into something that continues to hurt them. The desire for a different ending can become so powerful that we convince ourselves another conversation, another chance, or another sacrifice will finally change everything. Walters describes the tendency to believe that things will be different this time, or that putting in just a little more effort will finally make a situation work. But when the same circumstances repeatedly lead to the same pain, persistence can become a way of keeping ourselves trapped.
“Sometimes you’re just putting yourself through the same pain over and over again,” he explains.
Learning to walk away does not necessarily mean that the feelings have disappeared. In many cases, it means accepting that caring deeply about someone or something is not enough to make it healthy.
“I think getting older has taught me that you can care about something or someone deeply and still recognize that it’s not healthy for you.”
That may be one of the album’s most difficult lessons because it challenges the belief that love, loyalty, and commitment should always mean continuing to try. Sometimes, choosing yourself requires accepting that the outcome you hoped for is no longer possible, even if part of you still wishes it were. Growth can mean trying again. It can also mean finally deciding that you have tried enough.
“Signal Decay”: The Loneliness of No Longer Understanding Each Other
Few experiences are as isolating as feeling alone beside someone you once felt completely understood by. Communication can continue long after genuine connection begins to disappear, leaving two people exchanging words without ever reaching one another. “Signal Decay” explores that emotional distance, particularly in relationships where both people may still care but struggle to understand what the other is trying to say.
“I think that’s honestly one of the loneliest feelings you can experience, especially in a relationship,” Walters says. “You can be sitting right next to somebody, having conversations every single day, and still feel like you’re a million miles apart.”
The painful part is that disconnection does not always happen through one defining argument or dramatic moment. Sometimes, it develops gradually through repeated misunderstandings, conversations that never reach a resolution, and attempts to communicate that leave both people feeling increasingly unheard. Eventually, the act of talking can begin to replace the purpose of communication itself. Words are exchanged, arguments repeat, and both people hope that saying something differently will finally make the other understand.
“And I think the worst part is when you realize that both people might still care, but neither one knows how to reach the other anymore,” Walters explains.
That realization can be particularly difficult because affection and compatibility do not always move in the same direction. Two people can care about each other and still struggle to maintain a relationship that allows both of them to feel understood. The desire to make things work may remain, even as the ability to communicate begins to disappear.
“Sometimes relationships don’t fall apart because of one massive event,” Walters says. “Sometimes it’s just a thousand little moments where you slowly stop understanding each other until there’s nothing left to say.“
There is a quiet sadness in that description. It captures how distance can grow even when people remain physically present, and how a relationship can gradually become unfamiliar without either person fully realizing when the change began. In the context of the album, “Signal Decay” also connects to the larger question of what happens when the answers we seek are no longer enough to repair what has been lost. Sometimes, the problem is not that we have stopped talking. It is that we have stopped reaching each other.
Moving Forward Without Having Every Answer
Across Searching For The Things We Don’t Wish To Find, Secrets confronts the complicated emotions that accompany personal growth. From the anger of “Split Tongue” to the lingering weight of “Where The Light Doesn’t Reach,” and from the repeated cycles of “A Pattern of Return” to the emotional disconnection of “Signal Decay,” the album examines what it means to recognize the things that hurt us and decide what we will do with that knowledge.
In speaking with Wade Walters, one idea consistently emerges: healing requires honesty, but honesty alone is not the destination. Recognizing unhealthy patterns, confronting difficult emotions, and understanding the impact of past experiences are all important steps, yet the next step is deciding not to remain trapped in them. That does not mean every wound disappears or every question receives an answer. Some experiences continue to shape us, and some relationships leave us with more questions than explanations. But there is a difference between carrying those experiences and allowing them to dictate who we become.
The album’s title ultimately feels less like a warning against seeking the truth and more like an acknowledgment of the courage it takes to face it. Sometimes, what we discover is painful. Sometimes, the answer is that something we desperately wanted to save is no longer good for us. And sometimes, the most difficult realization is that moving forward requires us to stop returning to the same place, hoping it will finally become something different. Through Secrets‘ willingness to explore those uncomfortable realities, Searching For The Things We Don’t Wish To Find becomes a reflection on the imperfect, deeply personal process of healing. It reminds us that we do not have to romanticize our pain, remain loyal to what harms us, or find meaning in every difficult experience. Sometimes, growth begins when we finally acknowledge what we have been avoiding. And sometimes, the most important answer we find is the one that gives us permission to let go.
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